*Warning* If you’re a religious fanatic or worse, a religious homophobe who gets offended easily by things who mocks your beliefs then I suggest to skip this episode. The rest of you, follow me…
Holy week is just around the corner so the best way to celebrate it is to watch a movie were Jesus kicks ass! The film title says it all (well, kinda all) so i’m just going to elaborate a little bit. It’s about this gang of vampires who likes to kill lesbians because they say “they’re deviants. No one will miss them”, plus they make pretty good vampires I guess. Also they can hang out during the day because some crazy scientist who created a synthetic skin. Now Jesus Christ comes back to defend the lesbians from them. He meets a woman named Mary Magnum who helps him get a makeover and kill some vamps. Later on, the mexican legend El Santo ( « this guy) also joins forces with Jesus and grabbed his wife’s ass (well, everyone grabs her ass for some reason…) The rest is just an action pack film with lots of fighting scenes. Also, God made a cameo as a Ice cream Sundae with cherries and Virgin Mary as a nightlight of herself. I wish I was making this up lol.
Thoughts of the movie: Gonna start with the bad things first: Bad special effects, fighting scenes that are way too long, the acting is meh, the story is stupid and I don’t think they knew if they wanted to make a musical or just an action/comedy film. Now the good things: Everything else. I really thought I was going to hate this movie because it kinda looked like “Enter… Zombie King” which it’s one of the worst movies i’ve seen. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed it just because the movie itself doesn’t take too seriously and knows that it’s cheap and goofy. This is a 2001 film that has the quality of a 60s flick with cheap music, yellow-ish quality and bad dubbing, but all set in present day which I found that pretty hilarious. What really caught me off guard is that even with all the craziness and comedy, it has a really good message about loving everyone no matter their preferences or race and that no matter if you made bad decisions, you will be forgiven. (and if you’re a God believer, then God loves and respect you even if you’re gay, lesbian, Bieber fan, etc). It’s not a perfect movie but it’s even more fun than watching The Room in my opinion.
Would I recommend this movie?: Oh yes! No matter what are your beliefs, if you’re open minded and love comedies, you will enjoy it a lot.
Thumbs up or down?: Jesus being awesome? Oh yeah, Thumbs Up! :D
I command you to send me movie suggestions by writing them in the comment section or tweet them to me @punkyval